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Is My Partner Emotionally Immature?

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shapely answered 1 month ago
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Is My Partner Emotionally Immature?Category: RelationshipsIs My Partner Emotionally Immature?
Anon Girlie Staff asked 1 month ago
Hi, my name is Shelley. I'm really at my wit's end here and I need to know, is my partner emotionally immature and is that why our relationship feels so unstable? The other day, I had a really bad day at work, and when I tried to talk to my partner about it, they got completely distracted by their phone. When I called them out on it, they said I was being too "needy" and that I should just "deal with it myself." They made it seem like I was the problem for needing support. It's not the first time that's happened either. It feels like anytime I am not happy or need them, they avoid me or make me feel bad for having needs. I am not even sure why they are with me. This is why I am wondering, is my partner emotionally independent or are they just emotionally unavailable?

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1 Answers
shapely Staff answered 1 month ago
I’m sorry to hear how unsupported and dismissed you’ve been feeling in your relationship. It’s incredibly difficult to open up about your emotions and have them met with distraction or even criticism, especially when you’re already vulnerable. The behavior you’ve described does point to some form of emotional unavailability in your partner, which can often create the instability you’re experiencing. Emotional independence means having the ability to regulate one’s emotions while also showing empathy and support for others. However, what you’re seeing in your partner seems more aligned with emotional avoidance or immaturity. Their reaction to your need for support—deflecting, labeling you as “needy,” and shifting the problem onto you—can be indicative of someone who struggles to engage with emotional vulnerability or doesn’t feel comfortable addressing complex feelings. When this kind of behavior becomes a pattern, it can lead to deeper relational disconnects. It sounds like you’ve made efforts to express your needs, and their dismissal of those efforts can leave you questioning not just their intentions but also your own worth. Please know that your need for connection and support is entirely valid and not something to feel ashamed of. Relationships thrive when both partners feel seen, heard, and supported, especially during challenging times. It’s important to consider whether your partner is willing to engage in open and honest communication about what you both need. If they’re receptive to discussing how their actions make you feel and show a willingness to address this, there could be room for growth. However, if they continue to minimize your needs or avoid responsibility, it may be a sign to evaluate whether this dynamic aligns with your emotional well-being and long-term goals. If you’d like, we can explore ways to approach this conversation with your partner or reflect on what you might need to feel more secure and valued in your relationship. You deserve to have a partnership that offers not only love but also mutual respect and care. Let me know how I can best support you.

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